Dear Career Sensei - I'm in Love with my Boss

Meetings just became more heated

Dear Career Sensei,

I'm in a fix. I think I've fallen hard for my boss!

She's hot, flirts with me, assigns the best projects to me and sings my praises to our director.
My colleagues have even noticed that she treats me differently and now refer to me as 'Teachers Pet' behind her back.

We are both single with nothing to lose should I go ahead and ask her out?

Yours Truly,

Hot and bothered


Hello Hot and Bothered,

I don't know what your company's policy is with regards to office romance but I know that office romances are largely frowned upon because they have the tendency to interfere with work and bring about conflict of interests.

Your situation is a bit dicey because of the power dynamics with her being the boss and you being her subordinate, she wields more power, at least on a professional level. Even though your colleagues are laughing about it now, they may start to resent you and feel that you went into the relationship with the intention of getting ahead (you have already admitted to enjoying some form of favoritism) .
You also have to consider what would happen in the aftermath of the relationship ending. Would you be able to continue working with her or would dive back into the job market?

While entering a relationship with your boss may be a good idea, it can be disastrous to both your professional and personal life if one or both of you are not mentally prepared for it or if either of you are not going into it for the ssame reasons.

Before you ask her about, consider these points in my earlier post on workplace romance.

All the best!

The Career Sensei

Please send your questions for publication to dearcareersensei@gmail.com

How to Network Successfully

My, this is the best fruit salad I've ever had!

Earlier in my banking career, I was redeployed to the sales unit without requesting for it and on short notice.  Even though I like to believe that I love taking on new challenges I took on the redeployment with a lot of anxiety and trepidation because all my years in banking, I had been told that sales was the most difficult job function to excel in as the market was saturated with several commercial banks selling the same products to the same customers.

My manager at the time tried to calm my nerves down by giving me a prep-talk by sharing some nuggets that had helped her excel to become a star sales person with several promotions and awards to show for it. She explained that like me she had been thrust into sales but that she was able to succeed by leveraging on the strength of her network. She advised me to take advantage of the people in my social circles and to always be prepared by having my call cards and a couple of account opening forms I would never know when the opportunity to meet a prospective client will come.

Armed with the "secrets of banking sales success" and having only a handful of friends who also doubled as colleagues, I called up my social butterfly cousin and told him that I now wanted to run in his social circles. He was more than pleased to include me into his circle and promptly asked me to join him to a barbecue party that was scheduled to take place the next weekend as a right of passage into his circle of high flying executives and business owners.

Armed with my business cards and a dozen account opening forms in the back seat of my car and dressed down in a cropped t-shirt and jeans I drove down to the venue of the party with high expectations. As one would expect, I left the party without opening any accounts or making any meaningful business connections although I met a few people that I am friends with to this day.

You see it would take me several months of unsuccessful networking attempts to learn that there is an art to networking and if I was going to succeed at it I would have to follow some laid down rules some of which I have outlined below:

Know your event and plan accordingly; looking back I realize that it was a networking faux pas to have gone to a party that was filled with what would be total strangers and try to get them to open accounts with my bank. I should have taken into consideration that a barbecue party is more relaxed/casual social event and as such most guests are going there to unwind and not looking to make any serious business deals or connections.
I'm not saying that you can not have success by networking at a social gathering full of strangers but your  chances of succeeding at such events are slim. Some great places to network include conferences, trade shows, associations, leads groups and events specifically setup for networking.
Before going for the event, get as much information as possible, such as who would be attending and if possible their sitting arrangements, the aim is to be strategically positioned such that you can meet the people you plan on bringing into your network without too much hassle.
It also helps if you get to the event early/before the events kicks off.

Dress Appropriately: Dress as you want to be addressed, we humans are visual creatures and as much as we are told not to, would often judge a book by its cover. If you want to project the image of a serious professional capable of managing a 6-figure portfolio, you would need to dress the part.
I now realize that even though I was dressed appropriately for a barbecue party,  my outfit did not project the image of a banker, one whom a client is expected to entrust their investments with hence my failure to launch.

Have your elevator pitch ready; Every sales person is expected to have an elevator pitch, a 60-second succinct and persuasive sales pitch that should use to sell yourself/products or services. It's called an elevator pitch because it's basically giving a brief of your business to get your concept across to a person in the time between floors in an elevator. When networking, time is very important so you don't want to waste your time or that of your subject by beating about the bush or making meaningless small talk.


Read and speak body language fluently; to network effectively, you need to be a master  on interpreting body language and unspoken cues. You are better off not making an impression than making a bad impression. Study your person of interest from a safe distance to determine if they will welcome a chat with a "stranger" and once you determine that they may be open to talking to you be sure to know when to it's time take a friendly exit.

Follow-up: Send an email or put a call through expressing how much you enjoyed meeting the person and ask if you could get together and share ideas. I personally like to make my follow-up call within 24hrs of the meeting when the event is still fresh in the mind of the prospect.

Free Resume Evaluation

Have you ever identified an advertised job that you were qualified for and applied for it only to never get a call back or worse still received an impersonal auto response notifying you of your ineligibility for the position?

If you answered yes, know that you are not alone. You see in todays saturated job market, recruiters are expected to seieve through hundreds of applications for a single advertised job. To make the selection process easier, recruiters have been trained to select applications based on very specific criteria and if your resume does not contain these key terms, you will continue to be passed over for jobs you are qualified for.

For a limited period, I am offering to evaluate your resume to make it stand out and ensure that you are seleted for interviews by employers for free!

To get your free resume evaluation, simply follow us by entering your email address in the Follow by Email widget at the bottom of the blog.

Remember that I would only be evaluating a limited number of resumes, so hurry and don't miss out on this opportunity to make your applications stand out!

TGIF: What's so Special about Fridays Anyway?

I'm sure like me your social media channel feeds are flooded with TGIF status updates, posts and memes.  

Fridays are the least productive day of the week with 35% work being less done than on Mondays the second most productive day of the week (after Tuesdays). Even the commute to work on a Friday is chill with less traffic.

There's a generally relaxed vibe when you walk into an office on a Friday,  meetings are not as intense, no one seems to be in a rush and people at the office are in a more celebratory mood. 

So why is Friday such a special day for employees?

The start of the weekend. Friday heralds the start of the weekend and unless you work in retail or an emergency worker, medical professional or a clergy, you get to have two days off to rest, hang out with your family, run errands and attend social functions.

Casual Fridays. Friday for the average employee also means that you can ditch formal attire as many organizations have adopted a casual Friday dress code where employees who are normally required to wear business attires are allowed to dress down in more comfortable clothes.

Friday Night Lights. Friday is also more exciting because of Friday nightlife. You get to stay up late at night because there's no pressure to be up early for work the next morning. Many employees utilize their Friday nights by going on date nights, hanging out with their friends or if you are a mum of small children like I am, stay up late watching TV and catching up on my favorite television shows. Little wonder that most bars have special Friday night happy hour.

Saturday Sleep Ins. Your alarm clock gets the day off as you can sleep in on Saturday morning. The morning alarm is rated the 34th most annoying sound in the world coming in before fire alarms, little wonder as the morning alarm interrupts your sweet dreams and jolts you into the reality of the start of another work day.

So what would you be doing this Friday? 

You can now Facebook at Work

Well, it's not like you weren't already Facebooking at work, the difference is now you don't have to swiftly minimize your web browser when your supervisor walks in.

Yesterday Facebook released Workplace by Facebook, a service designed for internal business communication. Just like the Facebook you've come to love as a medium to connect with family and friends, Workplace offers group, messenger chats, trending posts, videos  and Facebook live. So now your CEO can address the entire company via Facebook live.


Facebook announced there are already over 1000 companies using the service around the world but getting it will cost your company as high as $3 per user for companies with less that 1000 users and $1 per user for organizations with over 10,000 users but is free for educational institutions and non-profits.

Workplace accounts are separate will be from your personal Facebook accounts so try to keep things professional and know when to draw the line with sharing the inappropriate memes.  Maybe Workplace would make  the internal communications process within organizations more fun and organizations would have improved employee engagement. We would have to wait and see.

6 Surefire Ways to Overcome a Work Slump

Does the mere thought of getting to work make you tired? Do tasks that would normally excite you now seem mundane? Do you find yourself getting irritated by office chatter that you would normally find amusing? You may be going through what is known as a work slump.

A work slump is defined by a loss of energy, lack of drive and motivation, feeling irritable, stressed and constantly procrastinating at work. Not to be confused with career fatigue, a more serious condition, work slumps tend to strike towards the end of the year as the seasons begin to take a calmer tone and the burst of energy you received after your summer vacation begins to wear off.

Even though work slumps are almost inevitable in the course of our careers and you are certain to experience them often, below are 6 simple ways to get out of a work slump


1. Take a break: If you've used up your vacation days for the year you can take a 3-4 day weekend off work. It's best to leave home during this timeout as staying at home is not necessarily a break and wouldn't give you the satisfaction and benefits that taking a break brings. Instead of spending your time off on Netflix, opt to go hiking with a friend or two or visit family out of town. Research has proven that a well-spent break will ease your stress, make you happier and more productive.

2. Tweak your morning routine:  A simple change in your morning routine can improve the course of your entire day. Simple tweaks like having a smoothie instead of your morning coffee, waking up 30 minutes earlier to exercise before your shower or even walking to work instead of driving can give you a boost and increase your energy levels for the days' task.

3. Redecorate / de-clutter your workspace: According to Feng Shui, the ancient Chinese practice, everything in your surrounding environment affects your life. It is believed that the way physical objects are placed around your space can attract positive or negative energy or chi. Clear your workstation of unnecessary items that may be draining your energy and redecorate  by adding a few elements that are believed to attract good vibes. Place items like fresh flowers or a small potted plant to attract wealth and prosperity; motivational images (such as a picture of your graduation or an award or even a photograph an industry leader you look up to) to attract fame and reputation and a picture or two of the special people in your life for love and relationships.

4. Re-assess your career goals: This is a good time to re-asses your career goals. Are you where you want to be or have you veered off?  By re-assessing your career goals you can get out of your work conundrum  by developing a plan to get you back on track (if you had veered off) or even starting a new career!

5. Volunteer for a project: If you've been working on the same projects, you are probably bored and in need of a change. Ask your boss to put you on a project that you does not necessarily fit your specialty but its something you can handle.You can also take on a new responsibility in addition to your current workload if you have the time and can handle both.

6. Take a class to learn something new: Enroll in a class to learn something new, maybe a craft or a new language or even a foreign dance. Not only will it give you something to look forward to after work, but it develops your knowledge base and improves you for better by giving you access to new opportunities, meeting new people and making new friends.

Dear Career Sensei

These shoes were made for walking

Dear Career Sensei,

I have just taken up a new job as a sales representative. Yesterday I was informed by my manager that I am not allowed to wear flat shoes to work and that I must keep my hair either in a bun or straightened shoulder length.
While I don't have an issue with the hairstyle, I'm uncomfortable in heels, I told my manager this and she suggested I wear kitten heels or wedge shoes.
I wasn't informed about a dress code during the interview process and the employee handbook makes no mention of these (it just states that we should be professionally dressed to work). Isn't this discrimination?

Yours Truly,

Uncomfortable in Heels


Dear Uncomfortable,

Unfortunately,  stipulating a dress code that is not hinged on your gender, race, national origin, religion or age is not discrimination because your employer is within their rights to enact a dress code. Unfair? maybe but it is not illegal.

You can try having a chat with HR about your discomfort with wearing high heels and see if they will be willing to bend the rules for you or you can choose to wear kitten heels or wedges as advised by your manager while you begin searching for another job.

All the best!

Please send your questions for publication to dearcareersensei@gmail.com

You got Fired, So what?

You are Fired!

According to Joan Kingsley, a consultant clinical and organisational therapist who has spent over 25 years researching workplace psychology, the number one fear for employees is the fear of being fired, this fear ranked higher than the fear of failing on the job and the fear of being disrespected by the boss. People fear getting fired not only because it affects the source of their livelihood but also because many people have come to associate getting the axe as proof that they are the worst at what they do since we have been conditioned to believe that it's usually the most unproductive employees that get fired.

It's no doubt that getting fired from a job can be a traumatic professional experience and can leave you feeling hurt, embarrassed, humiliated and broke; but while it can do a number on your self-esteem. you shouldn't let that singular act define who you are or where you are headed in your career.
In fact getting fired may actually be good for you, and here's why:

You are in good company! Some of the most successful and influential people have gotten the pink slip in the course of their career journey. Congratulations because you are now part of an elite group of people that include Thomas Edison, Steve Jobs, Anna Wintour, Michael Bloomberg and Walt Disney.

It's a life lesson. Instead of wallowing in self-pity and letting the experience take a slice out of your self-esteem, take it as one of life's many lessons and learn from the experience. Most organizations would let you know why you are getting axed but if you weren't informed, make it your mission to find out why and resolve to change for the better. If you were fired for poor performance, you would need to work on yourself by developing the skills required to excel in your field as well as learn to effectively communicate to potential employers how you have been able to turn your life around as a result of the firing.

It's your chance to start over. Getting fired also gives you another chance to start over, maybe like a lot of people in the workforce you took the job for the money and not because you enjoyed it or had the skills required to thrive in it. Robert Redford, an award-winning  actor/director and founder of the Sundance Film festival  got fired from a number of jobs which included working in a shipping yard and driving cranes and forklifts before moving to New York to pursue a career in film industry.  If he wasn't fired so many times he may have ended up as a very good forklift driver at best, but his firing spurred him to pursue his passion and today the rest is history. Take your firing as another chance to start over, use the time out to think about what you really want to do and work towards it.

Or maybe do better. Bernie Marcus and Arthur Blank were fired from Southern California home improvement chain, Handy Dan. Together, they founded Home Depot, the largest home-improvement retailer in the United States whereas Handy Dan shut down operations in 1989. Mr. Marcus and Mr. Blank  started Home Depot as an entire store of discounts, an idea they had while working with Handy Dan. You may have had bright ideas that were being stifled because perhaps you were a lowly officer but with the right people (an investment banker to raise capital and a merchandising guru in the case of Home Depot), you may just be able create a brand that would rival or even run your former employers out of business!

 I hope you can now see why getting fired shouldn't be the end of the road for you. I'll leave you with this gem from American Vogue Editor-in-Chief, Anna Wintour while addressing a room full of budding fashion industry followers during the Teen Vogue Fashion University in New York

"I worked for American Harper's Bazaar . . . they fired me. I recommend that you all get fired, it's a great learning experience."

How to Optimize your LinkedIn Profile for more Opportunities

Now that you have gotten your LinkedIn profile to all-star status, its time to take things up a notch by optimize your profile so that you can be found more easily by recruiters or other professionals looking to connect with people in your industry.

Our friends over at Leisure Jobs have created an ultimate LinkedIn visual guide which you can use to optimize your profile. Follow the guide underneath to get the best out of your LinkedIn experience:

Name: Include your first middle (if applicable) and last name. Avoid nicknames and other popular industry jargon.

Headline: By default, LinkedIn would use your most recent position as your headline. As this is the most important aspect of your profile, edit it to include terms that would make it easy for others to define your industry and your role within it. So instead of Marketing Manager, XYZ Company, Award Winning Marketing Manager who has worked with some of the leading FMCG Brands.
Be sure to add your location and your industry to be more visible in searches.
Pro-tip: Customize your URL to make it easier for people to find you. By default, LinkedIn creates a URL for you, which looks  like this linkedin.com/pub/career-sensei7342/7864 you should customize it into this linkedin.com/in/careersensei. You can do this by clicking on the grey box underneath your name.

Profile Photo: A profile photo can result in 14 times more profile views. Use a recent professional head shot.
Pro-tip: Be professionally dressed on your profile picture and keep the picture true-to-life, meaning that if you wear glasses or have your hair in bangs in your day-to-day life, be sure to capture the same in the photograph

Summary: Write a creative, succinct description which should include your present and future careers ambitions. Be sure to include your specialties/ areas of expertise as well as a call to action with your point of contact such as your phone number or email. E.g of a call to action "I am open to new opportunities, Call me on 000-000-000"
Pro-tip: Use the add media link to add links to slides, articles, blog posts etc to your summary to give credibility to your claims.

Experience: LinkedIn would arrange your experience chronologically starting with your current or most recent role. Be precise with your past experiences and current roles. Add as many roles you have functioned in as long as it relates to your current career goals. Avoid using passive language and opt to use action language instead as this shows you are more of an achiever than a doer.  Include awards received or measurable metrics achieved.
Pro-tip: Add clips from videos, in-article quotes and other contents you have created that is pertinent to your professional life.

Projects: Include projects you championed or were part of to your profile. Including projects demonstrates your skills and reinforces assertions made in your job description. LinkedIn allows you to add connections that were involved in the projects.
Pro-tip: Add links to current projects to support credibility.

Education: Include information about degrees acquired and schools attended.
Pro-tip: Be sure to include activities you participated in while at school such as the societies you belonged to and the sports you played, this would help you make connections with other alumni and also impress onlookers.

Skills & Endorsements: LinkedIn users that include relevant skills to their profiles receive on average 13 times more profile views. Add skills that define your professional role, experiences and contributions.

Connections & Groups: Be strategic in making connections. You should not connect with people you do not know or don't have any common here's why. Make connections with co-workers, peers in your industry, present and past clients and customers.
Join groups to leverage on LinkedIn's networking potential and utilize the ability to contact other group members.
Pro-tip: Aspire to make at least 500 quality/relevant connections but try to keep your connections under 3,000.

Next up, I would be sharing with you how to use recommendations and endorsements effectively on LinkedIn, keep a date.